Welcome to #occupybergdorfs, a weekly ruination of the absolute worst that the world of fashion has to offer. Each week, we’ll bring you a new eyesore, and break down exactly what makes this particular outfit “WTF”-worthy. A partnership between Change Machine (Jen Blair) and Super Roller Disco Monkey Hullabaloo (John Jarzemsky), #occupybergdorfs is dedicated to giving you that extra dose of schadenfreude you so desperately need to get you through the week.
Without further ado, may we present…
Marc Jacobs Wave 3/4 Sleeve Tunic & Flared-Leg Pants
$13,400.00 @ Bergdorf Goodman
Who would wear this?
Jen: London trust-fund socialites. Wannabe London trust-fund socialites. David Bowie.
Best time to wear this?
John: If you were going to a space-themed costume party hosted by snooty rich assholes who would judge you if your outfit didn’t cost almost as much as the down payment on a house.
Worst time to wear this?
Jen: Casual lunches, daytime errand-running, meeting the future in-laws, unless your future in-law is David Bowie.
Who, if anybody, can pull this off?
John: Someone like Stevie Nicks or Cher, or maybe the ghost of Liberace.
Is it fashionable?
Jen: For better or worse, printed pants are definitely having a moment.
Is it fairly priced?
John: …No. Women’s clothing, from my understanding, is usually heinously overpriced, especially when compared to men’s, but $13k for one outfit made of something other than baby-skin and diamonds should be cause for outrage.
What do you wear with this?
Jen: Statement platforms and a ray gun.
What would be a better use for the cash?
John: Well, $13k would pay the rent on a pretty decent room in Brooklyn for a year or so, but you could also spoil yourself with a slightly used mid-size sedan, or approximately 26,000 tacos from Jack in the Box.