Thoughts from the Subway (because everybody loves lists!)

Since I, as a lone writer, cannot stop the inevitable move away from long and thoughtful commentary, I am capitulating (at least temporarily) and presenting, consolidated in one forum for your reading pleasure:

A COLLECTION OF RANDOM THOUGHTS I HAVE WHILE RIDING THE NEW YORK CITY SUBWAY:

1. “What’s the deal with black guys never tying their sneakers?”

2. “Why do foreign people always ask me, and only me, for directions?”

3. “Did I just see a couple pour Arizona iced tea into their infant’s sippy cup?”

4. “I just came from the gym, and I’m not sure if I’m the one that smells, or if anybody can tell the difference.”

5. “This still beats L.A./Austin/Dallas/Boston/Anywhere traffic. Hands down.”

6. “At what point am I obligated to try and stall imminent violence?”

7. “Gay guys get really, really graphic when they drink.”

8. “Giant hoochie mamas and waifish hipster girls: mortal enemies within the MTA ecosystem.” (David Attenborough voice)

9. “I don’t want to treat him like a leper, but I really don’t like looking at the burn victim asking for money.”

10. “Stop leering at the map directly over my head. Jesus, don’t you have a smart phone? Oh god, help, I’m an asshole.”

 

–J

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